WHERE I LIVE

I like where I live, I like, no actually, I love my house. Its a big house with a garage, in a fairly quiet street, I have a garage and a driveway, and my garden is the right size not to be a nuisance. The area, Deptford on the other hand leaves a lot to be desired. If Rotherhithe Tunnel, Blackwall Tunnel or tower Bridge anit working then the traffic is a nightmare. I am close to the the shops, and my gym and more importantly the pub I use (usually straight after the gym). You can tell a lot about an area from its local paper and ours is a depressing read. Todays headline was "Police raid on crack house reveals large arsenal". if that wasnt bad enough the next page screamed "Caretaker rents school out as a brothel ". I have kids and this concerned me a bit. I turn a few more pages and read "Alcoholic commits arson in own flat" I must admit that made me chuckle but then the very next page I read "Ambulance driver accused of stealing injured cyclists trainers". The council round here to be fair, do empty our bins every friday, the road sweeper turns up on thursday which makes no sense but our bins are emptied on a friday. When I say emptied I literally mean that because the lazy bastards leave most of the rubbish in the road. This has led us to having the biggest rats in London, which is probably the only thing we can boast about. No one in my street got olympics tickets and I have several neighbours who have applied to be on "Come Eat Me Grub" sorri I mean "Come Dine With Me" but all have had knockbacks because this area isnt salubrious enough. One of my neighbours wrote to 60 minute makeover but the reply she got  just said "ha ha ha ha ha , dont think so". Also in the local papers are the classifieds. I do like a bargain but one ad read " Pine double bed, £50 includes mattress, (some stains). " Another read " For sale 12 pairs of trousers, all 36 waist, genuine reason for selling, some part worn" Who the hell wakes up in the morning and decides to sell all their trousers?. The ad that really tickled me was the one that read "For sale, fishing reel cover, fits most fishing reels, only 70p, no time wasters please". If I tried really hard I dont think I could waste that idiots time any better then he is already doing for himself. Its raining outside, and its raining hard, I hope you damn gardeners are happy. I wasted a chunk of money (no not hard earned ) but still money on a new Argus ( I aint ashamed) half price BBQ and I have not had the chance to use it. April was a glorious month weather wise but June has been a washout. I dont mind the rain in June but it just prolongs the agony of tennis at Wimbledon. I hate tennis, I hate tennis. Monday, tennis starts, monday afternoon all the Brits are out, except for "not sure what country I want to play for" Murray who lasts until Tuesday afternoon. I really dont see the attraction but to be fair, some people dont like football either, (weirdos).So with all this rain I have my dryer on making it difficult to hear my telly, I hate my dryer cos it keeps nicking my pants, it used to be my socks but maybe since I started washing my feet every week it has decided to go for my under garments instead. Anyway, at least with all this rain the streets around here can get cleaned properly and it also keeps the teenage noisy spotty car thieving dope smokers in the local council estate tower block stairwells and off the streets for a little while longer. Prince Harry is being sent back to the front line " To do his bit". They pulled him out of there because his presence put the lives of his comrades in even more danger. Surely announcing to the world he is going back is giving the bad guys something to think about. Still, he is surrounded by the best trained army on the planet, and they do shoot at him maybe he can hide behind the BBC camera crew that will be filming his every move. I hate tennis.