This time last year we were all told to stay away from everyone to not travel anywhere, don't visit friends and family, wear a face covering and most definitely do not have any parties.
Most of us did that, we followed the guidance and played our part.
Not that fat fuck Bumbling Boris.
He decided the rules didn't apply to him and he held a gathering for the chosen few.
How does he manage to make everything he wears look like something Benny Hill threw away?
He looks like a fly tipped mattress.
Anyway, Christmas is nearly here and I need to think about buying some gifts.
I was looking at the Ann Summers web page, thought I'd try to spice things up in the bedroom.
I am a fairly broad minded person so seeing sex toys and stuff didn't bother me, however, I saw the blow up doll section which I imagine is for guys who can't get a real women. I understand that, I really do, some men are so sad they take photos of trains and eat packed lunches their mums make. What I can't get my head around is blow up sheep. Who the fuck needs a blow up sheep? If you are the guy who can't get a real sheep you should not leave your home ever.
If you have to buy a blow up sheep for you to use as a lover then you are beyond help.
So anyway as I said Christmas is nearly here and the usual suspects have started going sick at work, the usual malingerers are faking being unwell so that they can have the festive season off.
Personally I don't mind but it fux me off seeing pictures of them playing golf or riding push bikes on a bike trail when they claim to be too ill to get out of bed.
On a different subject, yesterday I was in the supermarket and I heard a lady of some weight (that's me being PC and not saying 'some fat bird') on her phone telling someone it's not her fault that she is fat but being fat is like being gay, it just happens.
No fucking way. You don't wake up fat, it's a journey you put yourself through, gay is how you are, it is in your DNA, and it does not make you a bad person, some of my best friends are gay they are intelligent and funny people who I love. Fat people tend to be obnoxious biscuit munching cake swallowing coke drinking lazy fat toads who get out of breath reading a newspaper.
Anyway, I am not working today, just got back from the gym and now I am about to crack open a beer (vicious circle I know).
If I don't see you (it's probably for a reason), have a fabulous Christmas, eat, drink, get laid and try to be nice.
Please buy my E book, A Clean Week.
Here is an interesting fact, a cat can jump five times higher than its tail.
