This is a true story.
I had a doctors appointment today. I made it 2 weeks ago. I have had a sore knee for about 3 months. I woke up one morning and my left knee was painful. Being the tough guy I thought nothing of it but it was not getting better so I booked a doctors appointment.
I arrived ten minutes early and gave the receptionist my name address phone number inside leg measurement my mums maiden name the team I support and who I voted for in the election.
She let me sit down.
Twenty minutes after my booked time I was called in.
Fuck me this guy must have been in the same class as Sir Isaac Newton he was that old.
He told me to sit down and asked how I pronounced my name. I told him and he asked where I got that name from, tough crowd coz when I said my parents he did not laugh.
He looked at the screen and said that I had not been in for quite a while, I told him that I had not been sick for quite a while, still no laugh.
He asked if I was sick now and I said no, he asked why I was there and I told him about my knee. He looked disappointed. He asked me to explain so I told him that my knee was tender and stopping me from walking properly or jogging. He asked if I had trouble breathing I said no he asked if I was peeing ok I said yes, he said, shame.
He asked me to roll up my trouser leg and he grabbed my knee. Fuck me man his hands were cold.
He rummaged around for a few minutes then said it was either muscle damage or cartilage. I asked which it was.
He said he wasn't sure sure and that I could book a scan or rebook with my own doctor for a proper opinion.
I asked if he seen many patients today and he said yes yes quite a few. I asked if any were still alive, tough crowd, still no laugh.
I decided to rebook with my own doctor and hope to see him some time this year.
Please buy my E book, A Clean Week.
Here is an interesting fact, in 2007, over 210,000 Americans were injured in lawnmower accidents. Silly sods. La la la
Monday 21 October 2019
Friday 11 October 2019
DUMB DELIVERY
I was just sitting at home, minding my own, wondering whether to have a tissue moment when there was a knock on the door.
I opened the door and a delivery guy was there holding a parcel. He asked if I could take the parcel in for a neighbour.
I asked who the neighbour was and he said number 34. I said no. He asked why not. I told him that number 34 was a pig ignorant man, a noisy neighbour and he sometimes parked encroaching on my drive way.
The delivery guy said that he had tried other neighbours but no one answered.
I said sorry but no and shut the door.
Five minutes later there was another knock so I answered the door, it was him again.
He told me that he had spoken to his office and they said that it was my civic and moral duty to take the parcel.
I told him to wait and shut the door.
I waited 5 minutes then opened the door door and told him that I had just spoken to my lawyer and he had advised me not to take the parcel.
The delivery guy looked gobsmacked.
He told me that he had this one delivery in South London and 3 more in East London, his depot was in East London and he didn't want to have to drive all the way back to try and deliver this parcel.
Not my problem I said and shut the door.
I went upstairs and a few minutes later I heard the letter box being used.
I went down stairs and the dirty bastard had put a card in saying that he had left a note telling the neighbour that I had his parcel.
I was fuming. I opened the door and the parcel was on the door step.
I took it in and rang the number on the label. I told the woman on the phone that I was going to leave the parcel on the neighbours door step as I did not want to hold on to it and if it got stolen that was not my problem, and I hung up.
I did put the parcel on the neighbours door step and did not give it a second thought.
Fifteen minutes later there was a vigorous banging on my door and I rushed down to answer. I opened the door and saw the delivery guy sitting in his van. He gave me the wanker sign and drove off.
Later that day the neighbour knocked asking for his parcel. I told him that I did not take it in. He was not happy (fuck him).
Later still the neighbour knocked and apologised about his parking.
Fuck him again.
Please buy my E book, A Clean Week.
Here is an interesting fact, all the ants in the world weigh as much as all the people. La la la.
I opened the door and a delivery guy was there holding a parcel. He asked if I could take the parcel in for a neighbour.
I asked who the neighbour was and he said number 34. I said no. He asked why not. I told him that number 34 was a pig ignorant man, a noisy neighbour and he sometimes parked encroaching on my drive way.
The delivery guy said that he had tried other neighbours but no one answered.
I said sorry but no and shut the door.
Five minutes later there was another knock so I answered the door, it was him again.
He told me that he had spoken to his office and they said that it was my civic and moral duty to take the parcel.
I told him to wait and shut the door.
I waited 5 minutes then opened the door door and told him that I had just spoken to my lawyer and he had advised me not to take the parcel.
The delivery guy looked gobsmacked.
He told me that he had this one delivery in South London and 3 more in East London, his depot was in East London and he didn't want to have to drive all the way back to try and deliver this parcel.
Not my problem I said and shut the door.
I went upstairs and a few minutes later I heard the letter box being used.
I went down stairs and the dirty bastard had put a card in saying that he had left a note telling the neighbour that I had his parcel.
I was fuming. I opened the door and the parcel was on the door step.
I took it in and rang the number on the label. I told the woman on the phone that I was going to leave the parcel on the neighbours door step as I did not want to hold on to it and if it got stolen that was not my problem, and I hung up.
I did put the parcel on the neighbours door step and did not give it a second thought.
Fifteen minutes later there was a vigorous banging on my door and I rushed down to answer. I opened the door and saw the delivery guy sitting in his van. He gave me the wanker sign and drove off.
Later that day the neighbour knocked asking for his parcel. I told him that I did not take it in. He was not happy (fuck him).
Later still the neighbour knocked and apologised about his parking.
Fuck him again.
Please buy my E book, A Clean Week.
Here is an interesting fact, all the ants in the world weigh as much as all the people. La la la.
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