Boris has the virus. He is in intensive care in a NHS hospital. Bet he wishes his Tory party hadn't made so many cuts over the years, but we wish him well.
Wesley has moved down south to live with the sheep and has taken his perfect hair with him. Not a problem because I have found the perfect replacement.
His name is Michael Faulkner. We don't like Michael because he is everything I ain't. He is tall, good looking, nice personality and bloody immaculate hair. No arse though, he is very flat at the back. Me, I'm short fat bald ugly, big cock nice firm bum.
I went to the park for my run today and was dismayed to see people using the outside gym despite being told not to. Some people are just morons.
I am supposed to be lates next week but I am hoping Gibbsy will do his magic and get me off.
We like Gibbsy, he has a nice smile (I'm not gay I'm just being honest). He swears he ain't gay but every time someone bends over he touches their bum, and has a weird habit of rubbing his crotch when he talks to you.
Went to my local Tesco after my run and it was nice to see it looking almost normal. No queues, stock on the shelves and no one panic buying.
Still missing the football but I am re-reading my E book, A Clean Week, it's a really good book ,you should buy a copy for a friend.
Honor Blackman has passed away. She looked very Hubba Hubba in that Bond movie. She was 94 which ain't bad.
I'm still concerned that some of my colleagues are leaving the cabs in a shit state, (you know who you are you disgusting pigs).
It's Easter this weekend, feel free to give me chocolate (or bacon).
Here is an interesting fact, people who kiss their dogs have lower blood pressure than those who don't.
la la la.
Tuesday 7 April 2020
Saturday 4 April 2020
VIRUS UPDATE
Well this weekend the weather is supposed to be very nice. Let's see how many numpties ignore government advice and and go outside unnecessarily.
Well done to the front line NHS, the rest of us key workers got a half mention hidden in a statement by Boris during the week.
It can't be easy being cooped up indoors but it needs to be done. I would like to say hello to my good friend Derek Cue and his wife Lynne, they are staying in and haven't killed each other yet. Derek is always smartly dressed, he is a good man, his wife Lynne is a good man too.
Have you noticed that the media are not talking about the flood victims anymore? What about that annoying brat Greta Thunberg? I am so glad her punchable face is not always on the telly, she really got on my nerves.
The usual suspects are still pretending to have the virus and after this weekend I expect a few more to drop out.
Mr Peglar doesn't think he looks old but the grey hair is a giveaway.
My so called mate Wesley is not answering his phone, he better be dead or I will be annoyed.
Apparently the ozone has improved because of less traffic. I must be honest, talking about the ozone is something I find really boring.
Still no sports being played, Saturdays are boring now, no football has disappointed me more than the invention of the bagpipes.
On the bright side, we are saving money by not going on holidays.
If you need something to do, read my E book, A Clean Week. And get the first few chapters of my new book, Easy Pickings.
What's blue and not heavy? Light blue, ha ha ha ha.
Here is an interesting fact, the lighter was invented before the match. la la la.
Well done to the front line NHS, the rest of us key workers got a half mention hidden in a statement by Boris during the week.
It can't be easy being cooped up indoors but it needs to be done. I would like to say hello to my good friend Derek Cue and his wife Lynne, they are staying in and haven't killed each other yet. Derek is always smartly dressed, he is a good man, his wife Lynne is a good man too.
Have you noticed that the media are not talking about the flood victims anymore? What about that annoying brat Greta Thunberg? I am so glad her punchable face is not always on the telly, she really got on my nerves.
The usual suspects are still pretending to have the virus and after this weekend I expect a few more to drop out.
Mr Peglar doesn't think he looks old but the grey hair is a giveaway.
My so called mate Wesley is not answering his phone, he better be dead or I will be annoyed.
Apparently the ozone has improved because of less traffic. I must be honest, talking about the ozone is something I find really boring.
Still no sports being played, Saturdays are boring now, no football has disappointed me more than the invention of the bagpipes.
On the bright side, we are saving money by not going on holidays.
If you need something to do, read my E book, A Clean Week. And get the first few chapters of my new book, Easy Pickings.
What's blue and not heavy? Light blue, ha ha ha ha.
Here is an interesting fact, the lighter was invented before the match. la la la.
Wednesday 1 April 2020
VIRUS NONSENSE
This virus is being a bit of a nuisance. People are acting very oddly indeed. The nation is very divided, bringing out the best and the worst of people.
We have weak minded panic buyers taking more than they need. We have people who can't get what they need, we have hoarders being selfish and we have those who are profiteering.
Yes our NHS are doing an amazing job going above and beyond but what about the other key workers?
It sickens me to see till staff being verbally abused by morons acting like neanderthals, it irritates me greatly when rich people appear on telly and tell us to do more. Only this morning in the paper is a picture of that skinny miserable cow Posh Becks showing off her new £19 million dollar flat.
Has anyone seen Prince Philip? I think he may be brown bread but because currently he won't get a state funeral they are keeping it quiet for now.
Who was that moron licking the handles of shopping trolleys and why has he not been arrested yet?
Where I work I have seen people trying to fill bottles with sanitiser from the free ones hanging on the walls, it is ridiculous.
Obviously the usual suspects have taken the opportunity to go sick knowing they will still get paid and the honest ones amongst us know who they are.
The real down side is that the pubs are shut and I was wondering if the bar is open at the house of commons/lords.
Can't the pubs open for key workers only?
It would be nice to have drink without bumping into soppy lawyers and office staff and all those that used to look down on the lower echelons of society.
All of a sudden they need those bus drivers, they need those people working in the shops, they need those cleaners doing what they do and now look, who is the key person at your office.
Wesley is leaving. Who?? Wesley, the guy with the hair.
He is off to the sheep county, obviously had enough living in civilisation and wants the quiet (boring) life.
Boris has the virus but he was nuts before he got it so no sympathy there.
Donald Blump does not have a clue and just stands there looking even more lost than usual.
Hello Mr Peglar (he's the young one who looks old).
So anyway, lets all try be sensible and only buy what you need and stay in if you can. I can recommend a really good book, A Clean Week and if you look on my blog page you get a look at my next book, Easy Pickings.
Here is an interesting fact, women shoplift more than men, the statistics say 4 to 1. Lalala
We have weak minded panic buyers taking more than they need. We have people who can't get what they need, we have hoarders being selfish and we have those who are profiteering.
Yes our NHS are doing an amazing job going above and beyond but what about the other key workers?
It sickens me to see till staff being verbally abused by morons acting like neanderthals, it irritates me greatly when rich people appear on telly and tell us to do more. Only this morning in the paper is a picture of that skinny miserable cow Posh Becks showing off her new £19 million dollar flat.
Has anyone seen Prince Philip? I think he may be brown bread but because currently he won't get a state funeral they are keeping it quiet for now.
Who was that moron licking the handles of shopping trolleys and why has he not been arrested yet?
Where I work I have seen people trying to fill bottles with sanitiser from the free ones hanging on the walls, it is ridiculous.
Obviously the usual suspects have taken the opportunity to go sick knowing they will still get paid and the honest ones amongst us know who they are.
The real down side is that the pubs are shut and I was wondering if the bar is open at the house of commons/lords.
Can't the pubs open for key workers only?
It would be nice to have drink without bumping into soppy lawyers and office staff and all those that used to look down on the lower echelons of society.
All of a sudden they need those bus drivers, they need those people working in the shops, they need those cleaners doing what they do and now look, who is the key person at your office.
Wesley is leaving. Who?? Wesley, the guy with the hair.
He is off to the sheep county, obviously had enough living in civilisation and wants the quiet (boring) life.
Boris has the virus but he was nuts before he got it so no sympathy there.
Donald Blump does not have a clue and just stands there looking even more lost than usual.
Hello Mr Peglar (he's the young one who looks old).
So anyway, lets all try be sensible and only buy what you need and stay in if you can. I can recommend a really good book, A Clean Week and if you look on my blog page you get a look at my next book, Easy Pickings.
Here is an interesting fact, women shoplift more than men, the statistics say 4 to 1. Lalala
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)