FAULKNER

Boris has the virus. He is in intensive care in a NHS hospital. Bet he wishes his Tory party hadn't made so many cuts over the years, but we wish him well.
Wesley has moved down south to live with the sheep and has taken his perfect hair with him. Not a problem because I have found the perfect replacement.
His name is Michael Faulkner. We don't like Michael because he is everything I ain't. He is tall, good looking, nice personality and bloody immaculate hair. No arse though, he is very flat at the back. Me, I'm short fat bald ugly, big cock nice firm bum.
I went to the park for my run today and was dismayed to see people using the outside gym despite being told not to. Some people are just morons.
I am supposed to be lates next week but I am hoping Gibbsy will do his magic and get me off.
We like Gibbsy, he has a nice smile (I'm not gay I'm just being honest). He swears he ain't gay but every time someone bends over he touches their bum, and has a weird habit of rubbing his crotch when he talks to you.
Went to my local Tesco after my run and it was nice to see it looking almost normal. No queues, stock on the shelves and no one panic buying.
Still missing the football but I am re-reading my E book, A Clean Week, it's a really good book ,you should buy a copy for a friend.
Honor Blackman has passed away. She looked very Hubba Hubba in that Bond movie. She was 94 which ain't bad.
I'm still concerned that some of my colleagues are leaving the cabs in a shit state, (you know who you are you disgusting pigs).
It's Easter this weekend, feel free to give me chocolate (or bacon).
Here is an interesting fact, people who kiss their dogs have lower blood pressure than those who don't.
la la la.