1. Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.
2. If you have known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits. Unless you actually marry her.
3. When questioned by a friend's girlfriend, you need not and should not provide any information as to his whereabouts, you may even deny his very existence.
4. Unless he murdered someone in your immediate family you must bail a mate out of jail within 24 hours.
5. Bitching about the brand of beer in your mates fridge is forbidden but you can moan if it ain't cold.
6. , On a road trip, the strongest bladder determines the pit stops, not the weakest.
7. Women who say they 'love to watch sports' must be treated as spies unless they demonstrate full knowledge of the game and can eat a large doner kebab.
8. If a man's zip is open, that's his problem, you shouldn't be looking anyway.
9. No man shall ever be required to buy another man a birthday present.
10. Unless in prison, never fight naked. This includes men not wearing a shirt.
11. Don't let friends wear Speedos...Ever.
12. If you ever compliment a guy's six pack, you better be talking about his beer.
13. Never hesitate to reach for the last can of beer or slice of pizza, but not both, that's just mean.
14. If your buddy is trying to hook up with a girl, you may sabotage him but only in a way that stops you both getting any.
15. If a buddy has an eyelash or other foreign object on his hair or face, you are not allowed to remove it but an appropriate hand gesture is allowed.
16. No man shall ever watch the following programmes on TV,..... Figure Skating, Men's Gymnastics, sports involving women, (unless the women are sexy).
17. If you accidentally touch or brush against any part of another man below the waist it is an understood accident, NO apologies or reference to the incident is necessary.
18. No man shall allow anyone to speak ill of The Simpsons, Rockie films or Rambo movies.
19. There is never an occasion that a shirt without buttons should be tucked in.
20. The only time a man may cry is when a heroic dog died trying to save his master or being struck in the balls by an object moving faster than 7 miles an hour.
21. Only in an empty room, car, etc may two non related males ask is the other is ok just because he isn't talking.
22. Any object thrown with reasonable speed and accuracy MUST be caught.
23. No man shall ever keep count of the amount of beers he has had in a night. A reasonable guess will be accepted in the morning.
24. If you jiggle it more than three times, you're playing with.
25. A man shall never help another man apply sun tan oil/ lotion.
26. The guy who wants something the most is responsible for getting it.
27. If you say 'ouch' you are a wuss.
28. Last but not least, it is the God given right of every man to assist any other man that may need assistance to obtain the holy grail...a threesome ( with 2 women).
Here is an interesting ( strange) fact...if you tickle the same rat every day, eventually it will soon start laughing as soon as it sees you.
Please buy my E book, A Clean Week. la la la.
