EASY PICKINGS
Chapter 1
Daniels mum was again pounding on his bedroom door. This was
getting annoying and he didn’t need her telling him it was nearly eleven thirty
and he didn’t need reminding that he had not paid last week’s rent and he did
not believe the threat she was making about kicking him out. What he wanted was
to go to the post office when the early morning queues had dwindled so that he
didn’t have to stand in line like a pauper in a poor house dinner line with all
the coke heads and urine soaked dossers and the cabbage smelling old people.
Daniel wanted to be in and out of the post office a bit sharpish so he could
score some weed and hopefully get a shag from Elizabeth.
Daniel rubbed his crotch at the thought of Elizabeth and
contemplated a quick hand job when Linda, Daniels mum pounded on his door
again.
Linda was fuming. That lazy toe rag son of hers treated this
flat like a bloody bed and breakfast except he was always behind with his rent.
Well not today, that lazy idle bastard was paying what he owed or he was being
shown the door. Linda was skint, her dole money was already spent and now she
needed to put some money on the electric key and she was low on teabags and to
top it all she was down to her last three cigarettes. How the hell had she
ended up alone and poor with a skiving junky son in a manky two bedroom flat on
a toilet sink estate in the arse end of south London.
Her husband Ted had left her about seven months ago when
that dirty skank bitch Jan had given him a blow job in the beer garden of the
Fox pub. Ted loved his blow jobs but was not the most hygienic person and Linda
stopped doing it because he smelled awful down there and tasted like he had
stuck his cock in a stale onion. Ted wanted oral sex but for once in her
miserable married life she had stood her ground and refused until Ted had a
bath. It was two weeks until Ted washed his privates and now demanded sex but
for Linda it was the wrong time of the month so Ted went out, after giving
Linda a slap across the face. It was in the Fox pub where he was moaning about
being denied his marital rights that a very drunk Jan had offered to blow him
for a double vodka and a packet of fags from the cigarette machine. After
getting pleasured in the car park Ted went back to Jan’s flat where again had a
toe curling blow job and decided there and then that he was never going back to
Linda.
Daniel finally left his bedroom and went into the bathroom
where he squeezed some tooth paste into his mouth, rubbed it over his teeth
with his tongue and went down stairs. Linda again started to berate him.
“Daniel I swear if you don’t go and get your giro money I will throw your lazy
unwashed arse out of this home, do you hear me? “ “For the last time you stupid
cow, don’t call me Daniel, Its Dan or Danny, fuck me woman look around you, who
are you trying to impress? Call me Dan or Danny but for fucks sake not Daniel.
We ain’t posh and I ain’t gay, now get out of my way I’m going out.
Danny hated being called Daniel, it sounded weak. People who
knew him used to call him Danny boy, now that he was twenty two they called him
Dan the man, especially when they were getting good quality weed from him. He
wanted, no he craved respect. He knew his dad had done a bunk with a broken
down old cum bucket called Jan but that was his dad, not him, not Dan the man
not Dan the dealer. Dan would show people he was made of better stuff. He would
show them that he had better mettle coursing through his veins. And with
Elizabeth by his side he would be formidable.
He hated the fact that people called her fat Liz. Yes, he
knew she could probably lose a few pounds but she was a wonderful person with a
heart of gold and all she wanted was to be loved, and in return she would treat
her man like a king. And the sex, wow the sex, for a fat girl, he instantly
regretted thinking of her as fat. For a woman of ample proportions she had no
inhibitions and she shagged his brains out to the point where he was a love
struck puppy in a sand dune.
All he needed was a few quid to turn into profit and he was
on his way. People would come and seek his advice and want his help, just like
Al Pacino in the Godfather films, except he would make his office the pool hall
like Paul Newman in The hustler movie. Firstly it was way cooler and secondly
he could shag Elizabeth over a pool table, which was a fantasy of his since he
once saw it in a blue film he nicked from his dad a while back. And he knew
Elizabeth was up for that sort of thing.
Today was giro day. Dan had to get to the post office and
pick up his eighty two pounds, the dilemma was what to do when he had the money
in his hand, should he do the right thing and pay his mum his rent bearing in
mind with last week’s money on top of this week’s which was due yesterday, he
owed that grasping cow sixty quid. Sixty quid would make a serious hole in the
plans he had to start making some real money. With seventy five pounds he could
score some good quality weed and turn it into one hundred and twenty pounds.
With only twenty pounds he could only make about fifty pounds and he wanted to
treat Elizabeth later, Dan wasn’t sure in what way yet but he was sure it would
end up with them in her bed.
Dan stood in the still long queue at the Post office and was
quietly cursing to himself. All these out of work scrounging layabouts and piss
smelling old people were holding him up. Yes Dan knew that he was also out of
work but that was by choice. Some of the jobs Dan had had recently were less
than menial and Dan had worked himself bored to almost suicide, he needed a job
that was challenging and rewarding, a bit like an army sniper, using both
brains and guile, which Dan thought he had lots of both.
Dan wanted to work but Dan wanted to earn big bucks, not a
poxy hundred and fifty quid for a forty hour week. Fucking hell, Thought Dan,
some good days selling weed he made that in two or three hours.
Dan noticed that just ahead of him in the queue was old man
Remus, a bolshie old black man and Mrs Bailey the local busy body. Between two
of them they knew everyone’s business and kept no secrets. They were known for
gossiping to anyone about anyone and everyone.
As usual, Mr Gupta the post master, Ha ha thought Danny, he had a bloody
cheek calling himself a postmaster in this little dump of a shop situated in a
small parade of shops on a slum dog estate. The cheeky old paki even had a
badge made calling himself a postmaster,
was making small talk with his regulars. Dan suspected that this was just a
ploy to stop them hopping on a bus and going to the better bigger proper post
office about ten minutes bus ride away.
Hang on, Dan was suddenly interested.
Did Gupta just count out two hundred and forty pounds for
Mrs Bailey? bloody hell, that’s a lot of money for an old sourpuss to be
drawing out. Dan stood there transfixed as Mrs Bailey double checked the money
and put in a purse which she transferred to her handbag. Danny noticed the
purse, it looked new and expensive and again cursed his rotten luck for not
having nice things for himself. As he stood there almost bewildered by what he
was taking in he could hear old man Remus counting as well. “Two hundred, two
hundred and twenty, two hundred and twenty five pounds and eighty seven pence”.
Mr Remus took the loose change and put it in the collection
box that was for the local sea cadet unit which Mr Gupta was always harping on
about that his son was a cadet. The box was secured by a flimsy little chain
and just then a malicious thought entered Dan’s mind. “I could have that box if
I wanted to. Just a quick yank and that flimsy chain would snap” and Gupta was
easy to distract, Dan sometimes tied Gupta in knots with his antics, had the
silly old bugger running all over the shop but would it be worth it? There was
no telling how much was in the box and as it was probably all loose change it
was probably less than a tenner. No what Dan should do is rob the old couple,
bloody hell they had nearly five hundred quid between them and they would
probably just waste it on pet food and sweets. Dan thought to himself, I could
mug those two and be well on my way to the good life, five hundred quid buys a
lot of good weed, I could pay moaning rat bag her rent money, fuck, I could pay
a week in advance I could definitely buy Elizabeth something nice and it’s not
as if this would be my first mugging, Danny started to remember an occasion
some time last year when had indeed committed a mugging.
Danny remembered the occasion quite clearly in his mind, and
coincidently it had occurred shortly after leaving this very post office.
Chapter 2
It was Easter time and Danny had been unwell for about three
weeks and had not picked up his money, and so had more money than usual to
collect and on top of that he had just been paid from the street sweeping team
that he rarely showed up for, they had lost patience with him and paid him off
up to the end of the current month so Danny was holding quite a large amount of
cash.
As a treat Danny was buying himself a new pair of trainers,
and for once he was going to splash out. This time he was not buying some
market stall look alkies, he was going to the sports shop in the mall and was
going to get a proper pair of trainers, a pair that told other trainer wearers
to get out the way when you see me coming cos I am the daddy of trainers.
In the shop Dan saw the pair he wanted, they were the absolute
dogs cock.” I like them “thought Danny “nice sole nice feel cool design, yep,
these are ones, just not in green”. Danny called over the sales assistant, a
teenager with a whacky hairdo and a uniform shirt too big and not tucked in and
a tie that was made to look big, the kid was a doofus and Danny was going to
this little faggot to show him some respect “These trainers ain’t bad “said
Danny, “do you have them in black?”. “Nope” came the uninterested reply. “What
colours do you have then?” asked Danny. The assistant looked at Danny as though
he was a fart smell and sighed, “Look mate, we have green, they come in green, only green, we have had these trainers on display for months
and no one has bought a pair cos we only have green. In fact I should have
taken them off display yesterday and sent them back cos no one wants green
trainers, I was just about to do that, when you came in, they are
going back and hopefully will never be seen again”. “How cool would that be “thought
Danny, to have they only trainers in town like this, I could be unique, a real
trendsetter, that’s when he made the move to make himself cool.
“Right” said Danny, “here’s a fiver for you, get me these in
a size nine, take them off display and send them back today, and I mean today,
if I see another pair anywhere in the near future around here I will come and
find you and make eat every tin of shoe polish in this shitty shop and then
kick your spotty face in, do you understand?” “Yeah whatever” said the
assistant and went off to get the trainers.
Twenty minutes later Danny was in the McDonald’s ordering a
meal when he noticed two kids about thirteen or fourteen years old sniggering
and looking at his trainers. Danny looked down at his feet and looked at the
two boys and one of them bent over with laughter. Dan collected his order and
sauntered over to where they were sitting. He put his order on their table,
deliberately knocking over one of their coke cartons and growled, “What’s so
fucking funny?” One of the lads giggled and said, “We were just wondering why
you had giant bogeys on your feet” and at that this companion laughed even
harder.
“Fuck off you little runts, this is a fashion statement” and
the second youth laughed even harder and said “ yeah, it says I’m a knob head
with no taste” and the first youth chipped in with “yeah and I’m also colour
blind, fuck me man who wears green trainers?” and at that they both collapsed
with the giggles.
Dan snarled, “that’s right you little punks, no one around
here wears them, I’m the only one, I’m unique, I’m the trendsetter I’m the
fashion that everyone else follows, so shut the fuck up or I will bash both
your little spotty faces in and piss in your eyes” and at that the first youth
laughed even harder and said “ I wish you would piss in my eyes cos then I
wouldn’t have to look at your fucking trainers” and at that his mate snorted
some coke over himself and got up to go to the toilet to clean up.
Danny found a booth and sat there fuming, he had just been
mugged off by two little brats and was feeling very angry that he had lost the
verbal duel.
Dan grabbed a handful of chips then stood up and made his way
to the toilet and found the first youth wiping himself down with some tissue.
The youth turned and saw Dan enter the toilet and offered Dan some tissue with
the comment “do you want some to blow your trainers?”, the youth obviously found this very funny and started laughing.
Danny punched the kid hard, very hard, the youth went down and Danny kicked him
twice, once in the stomach and once in the face. The lad was coughing and
crying and looked quite a pathetic sight so Danny knelt down and spat at him then
stood and kicked him again.
“I’m sorry mister I’m sorry, we was only joking, pleases
don’t hurt me anymore”, “Fuck you, you little shit”, snarled Danny, “ain’t so
mouthy now are you, you little prick?”
Danny put his left foot by the boy’s mouth and said “kiss my
trainer” and the lad kissed it instantly. “Say my trainers are the dogs nuts,
the best you have ever seen and that you wish you were cool enough to wear a
pair” demanded Danny, and the lad repeated what Dan had told him to say. Dan
knelt close the boy and grabbed him by the neck, and through gritted teeth said
“I could do real damage to you, you crying little maggot, I could put you in
hospital if I wanted to” and at this the boy sobbed harder and louder.
Realising that someone could come in at any time Dan rifled the boy’s pocket.
He found thirteen pounds, two five pound notes and three one pound coins, “This
all you got on you shit face? And the boy nodded. Danny reached into his own
pocket and pulled out his wad of money and waved under the boys nose, “that’s
real money” spat Danny, Danny punched the boy again, in the stomach and stood
up to leave then had a thought, he grabbed the lad and made him stand up and
dragged him to a cubicle.
“Take off your trainers and put them in the loo”. The boy
looked confused for a second then did as he was ordered. “Now pull the chain
and say goodbye shitty trainers” again the lad did as he was told. Danny shoved
him to the floor and left the toilet. He collected his food from the booth and
casually but quickly left the building. The other youth saw Danny, looked at
the toilet door looked at Danny again then raced to the toilet, a panic look
upon his face. He found his pal a crying bloody mess on the floor.
Danny was running, feeling excited and victorious, and very
superior.
Back in the Post Office, Daniel stopped daydreaming and was
seriously hatching a plan to relieve these two old relics of their money. They
walked past him and barely looked at him as though he were a street urchin
begging for food. Instantly their fate was sealed and their money would soon be
his.
He approached Mr Gupta and collected his meagre amount all
the time nervously eyeing the door behind him. As Mr Gupta counted out the
money he said to Danny, “this is a first young man, no silly antics or
disgusting language from you”, Danny replied “just fucking hurry up, it stinks
in here”.
Danny snatched up his money and quickly left the Post
Office.
Outside he scanned left and right hoping to catch a sight of
the old couple and there to his right heading towards the council estate both
Mrs Bailey and old man rebus were dawdling along chatting away to each
other.
Danny hastened his pace and was soon only twenty or so yards
behind them mentally planning his move. He didn’t have much time so it had to
be quick and it had to be good and above all he had to make it work.
Not too far ahead was the sprawling estate. A vast city of
both tall and short blocks desecrating the area with its bland grey brickwork
and unimaginative layout. Most of the people who lived here were unemployed and
a high number were ex travellers living in their first properly built homes.
Even though the caravans were missing there was still a high number of broken
down cars littering the drive ways and gaudy badly decorated front doors and
windows. It was not uncommon to see most of the men in track suits and vests
and the women, as was the latest fashion to be walking around in pyjama bottoms
and Ugg boots.
Danny hated it around here but knew he was almost one of
them.
All of a sudden he had a plan. Well not so much as a plan
but he knew what he was going to do. They had money, more money than he did and
he was going to take it from them. He found himself running past the old couple
and headed towards a block that was six floors high and about a hundred yards
away.
It wasn’t a plan as such but just about his only option at
such short notice and it would only work if the two old farts played their part
in its execution.
The block was where Mrs Bailey lived. It was the block past
old man Rebus but Danny was hoping the old git would make sure Mrs bailey got
home first then go back to his own block.
Danny dashed inside the block and hurried up to the second
floor. He called the lift and when it arrived he got in and kept the doors open
to prevent them from closing. Several
minutes later he heard voices from below, and could just make out Mrs Bailey
telling old man Rebus that she would be fine from here. Old man Rebus protested but Mrs Bailey was
adamant and shooed him away. Danny rushed down the stairs in an attempt to beat
the lift and he reached the bottom with seconds to spare. As the doors opened
and Mrs Bailey entered the lift Danny yelled “Hold up love” and patted his
pockets. Without looking up so she could see his face he mumbled “Bloody hell I
left me keys upstairs” and got in the lift. Mrs Bailey sniffed and asked “What
floor?” Danny replied “my mate lives above you missus”. Mrs Bailey pushed the
buttons for the floors three and four and as the doors closed she moved away
from Danny and tutted.
Danny said nothing, his mind was in fast forward mode, get
the money get down stairs get to Rebus` block get his money and get away. On
the third floor the doors opened and Mrs Bailey stepped out. As she took her
third step Danny said “excuse me love, you dropped this” and as Mrs Bailey
turned around Danny bashed hard and viciously in the face. He knocked her to
the floor and grabbed her bag. Reaching in he quickly found the purse, he
checked to make sure the money was in it and found himself marvelling at its
niceness. “This will do for Elizabeth” he thought, and kicked Mrs Bailey whilst
she was on the floor then dashed down the stairs and out of the block heading
left for the block old man Rebus lived in.
For some unknown reason old man Rebus had not got very far,
and this gave Danny an extra spurt of energy.
Old man Rebus was muttering to himself as Danny dashed past, he was
wondering whether to go to the off licence and buy some rum or make do with the
amount he still had indoors. Danny prayed to himself that whatever was delaying
the old man would last a minute or two more give Danny a chance to catch his
breath from all this exertion and excitement and to find a place to lay in
wait.
Danny entered the two storey block. It wasn’t as high as Mrs Baileys block but
the ground floor properties had a small front and rear garden. Mr Rebus lived
upstairs.
Danny charged upstairs to the first floor and waited. Almost
three minutes passed and Danny was starting to panic. What if someone had found
the old lady already? What if the police were already on their way? Danny
didn’t need this complication and stress and fear was starting to creep into
his psyche when he heard old man Rebus enter the block humming to himself.
“Miserable old bastard” thought Danny, “he won’t be humming
much longer”, Danny smirked to himself and launched himself down the stairs
like a human missile. Old man rebus was half way up the second flight of
stairs, one hand in his jacket pocket rummaging for his keys and the other hand
holding on to his carrier bag. Danny leapt at him aiming a karate style flying
kick to Mr Rebus` chest. The old man had no chance. He was sent hurtling
backwards and downwards landing head first with a sickening crunch of bone on
concrete. Danny was stunned momentarily, he had not expected to use so much
force and the weight of his kick, the distance Mr Rebus travelled and the
horrible sound when he landed shook him for a second or two. Danny snapped out
of his shock and searched through the old man`s pockets. The money wasn`t
there. “Oh shit oh shit” thought Danny panicking. Danny grabbed the carrier bag
and looked inside, to his relief there was the wallet with the money. Danny
stood up and listened. He didn’t hear anyone coming and he didn’t hear sirens,
so far so good, he hoped. Looking down Danny saw a large pool of blood seeping
from the back of Mr Rebus` head and Danny`s right trainer was touching the
blood. “Fuck me” cried Danny out loud and ran quickly from the block and headed
homewards.
Danny half ran half stumbled, all his energy was gone. The
euphoria of taking on two `opponents` had worn off, and now the realisation
that he had just attacked and robbed two pensioners was sinking in. Nausea was
seeping in to his mindset and he wanted to throw up. The crime he had just
committed was an awful one and also one which would gain him absolutely no
kudos with his peers. In fact if anyone knew that he had done this heinous deed
all his family would have to leave the area or face severe retributions from
the local gangster fraternity. The money
felt heavy in his pocket and he just wanted to get home and off the street. He
looked down and saw that his beloved trainers were smeared with blood and there
was also a smattering of blood on the lower legs of his jeans.
As Danny reached his turning a police car drove past. The
car was not in a hurry and did not have its blue lights flashing. Danny stopped
running and walked as their car drove past him. Danny did not look up but could
feel the occupants of the car looking at him and more so at his feet. The car
did not stop and Danny heaved a huge sigh of relief, followed by an instant
hurl of vomit he could not control. Danny wiped his mouth and reached his front
door. Inside, his mum was coming down the stairs, she looked him up and down
and said “bloody hell lad, you look like a bag of shit, what`ve you been up to?”
“Mind your own business witch” was Danny`s reply.
