WHAT A KNEES UP

This is a true story.

I had a doctors appointment today. I made it 2 weeks ago. I have had a sore knee for about 3 months.  I woke up one morning and my left knee was painful. Being the tough guy I thought nothing of it but it was not getting better so I booked a doctors appointment.
I arrived ten minutes early and gave the receptionist my name address phone number inside leg measurement my mums maiden name the team I support and who I voted for in the election.
She let me sit down.
Twenty minutes after my booked time I was called in.
Fuck me this guy must have been in the same class as Sir Isaac Newton he was that old.
He told me to sit down and asked how I pronounced my name. I told him and he asked where I got that name from,  tough crowd coz when I said my parents he did not laugh.

He looked at the screen and said that I had not been in for quite a while, I told him that I had not been sick for quite a while, still no laugh.
He asked if I was sick now and I said no, he asked why I was there and I told him about my knee. He looked disappointed. He asked me to explain so I told him that my knee was tender and stopping me from walking properly or jogging. He asked if I had trouble breathing I said no he asked if I was peeing ok I said yes, he said, shame.
He asked me to roll up my trouser leg and he grabbed my knee. Fuck me man his hands were cold.
He rummaged around for a few minutes then said it was either muscle damage or cartilage. I asked which it was.
He said he wasn't sure sure and that I could book a scan or rebook with my own doctor for a proper opinion.
I asked if he seen many patients today and he said yes yes quite a few. I asked if any were still alive, tough crowd, still no laugh.
I decided to rebook with my own doctor and hope to see him some time this year.

Please buy my E  book, A Clean Week.
Here is an interesting fact, in 2007, over 210,000 Americans were injured in lawnmower accidents. Silly sods. La la la