As Predicted

As predicted, the Olympics have not even started and its becoming a farce. No one knew if they were going to be successful in getting a ticket and even if you were lucky there was no gaurantee that you  would receive a ticket to the event you wanted. Blithering Boris moaned that he never got a ticket but was going to try again, I bet he still turns up there, Lord Smarmy Coe says that the process was fair and just. Please may I smoke whatever he puts in his pipe. Why could they not put on the application the first three events you would like and if unsuccessful would you like a random event?  So you get choice A B or C or D if you aint fussed.  Why do so many unworthy "famous and deserving " people get gifted a ticket. I saw on the news that athletes are only getting one ticket for a family member, surley at least two so mum AND dad can go and watch their offspring come fourth. Im getting bored with Boris saying how proud he is and even more exasperated with Lord Smarmy saying it was a fair process. Someone on the olympics committee needs a kick in the genitals because before the games have even begun we are being laughed at. I attended all my school sports days and then all the sports days of my children. I ran in and then watched countless egg and spoon races and yet there is not one event for this. There is also no sack race or races with bean bags on our heads. All across the world the children of other nations train from an early age to be good at sports but here in Blighty we dont let our kids compete because its not fair to the fat kids and the lame kids. Well boo hoo to them, on that dumb logic lets ban science maths and biology from our schools so the stupid kids can feel equal. Actually we currently have an excuse for our athletes, the councils of this great nation are starting to bring in hose pipe bans because it didnt rain one day last month, we use the excuse that the weather was a wrong temperate for our athletes to train in. We should be the fastest runners in the world because it rains so much here sure our athletes wear wellies and cagouls when they train. If you aint got a ticket, dont panic, I have a telly, come and watch it at mine, I have beer wine chicken and burgers, if you want salad bring your own. I am inventing a new game, Its called " How many famous people in the audience who never bought a ticket can you name?"