GOLF OR PUB

Last week I made plans to play golf this week on wednesday and thursday. I made these plans because those over paid badly dressed weather forecasters said the weather would be nice. I played golf yesterday and the the weather was indeed very nice and I had a really good time followed obviousy by some alcohol. I cancelled the plans for golf today and arranged to go to the pub with friends instead. I did this because that beardy sandal wearing lentil crunching crazy cardigan wearing idiot was sure that today was going to be a total washout. Well I have looked out the window several times today and it aint farking raining. Dont get me wrong, im looking forward to a long session in the pub (dont expect sex later cos I wont be able to), and im sure it will be a larf. However I will spend a lot more money than I would have if I had gone golf. Also I really should give my liver a rest. I hope that the weather stays nice for the lads going on the bike ride tomorrow, I will think of you when I am at the pub (again). Can I just say to the weather forecasters, I dont like you, I never have, you tell more lies than a british rail timetable, I blame myself because I should not have faith in you, maybe your beards are hypnotic. I dont understand how so much money can be spent on so few correct predictions. I hope you stub your crusty dirty sandalled talon shaped toes and fall over and land in a puddle of rancid carrot slush.