Today I'm annoyed because...

The Queen is visiting Ireland today and not one of the people she met bowed or curtseyed. that is just disrespectful. I went to the bank on saturday and it was closed for staff training, I went again monday morning and it was late opening, I tried again today but there was such a queue that I could not be arsed to wait. A community police officer knocked on my door earlier, when I opened the door he looked me up and down and then asked "is this your house?" I replied "why? do you think I stole it?" He was trying to get me involved in new projects in the area to generate "excitement" in the community, I told him I get enough excitement driving my car waiting for his colleagues to pull me over and give me a beating, he didn't like that. He said that a bungee jumping show was coming to Deptford and I just laughed, he asked whats so funny? I told him that Deptford was full of black people and to black people, bungee jumping reminds us of a lynching. I saw on the news that a homeless shelter has burned down, what does that make them now? homelesser? Also on the news was a story about a teenager who hung himself because he had a speech impediment, I thought that was sad because there are people he could have talked to. Simon Cowell spends half a million pounds a year on personnal security, he could save a tonne of money just by being less of a wanker. My pal asked me if I had any tips on speaking to an audience and I suggested that he pretends the audience is naked, he then told me that it was not a good idea because he was giving a speech to a group of ten year old boy scouts. Any way, the football season is nearly over, nothing to do for three months except be crap at cricket, worse at tennis and watch the cost of the olympics keep rising. If you can't afford a ticket don't panic because it will be on telly. I intend to watch some of it, (the sports with semi dressed women), I will buy a crate or two of lager and eat burgers. I fully expect the olympics to be dismal in both the presentation and the medal tally for England, I don't mean to be a miserable git but lets be honest, we suck.