Survey Says

I saw something in the news today (Mirror page 29) apparently women diet and go to tanning booths and have their hair done before going on holiday. Do you believe this rubbish? An actual survey that cost tonnes of money was conducted to tell us what we already know. Another survey has been commissioned to find out why the lib dems took a caning at the polls last week, please save the money and give it to a decent charity I can give the answer in five words 'Nick Clegg told us lies' at the election he made several promises (most of the lying politicians did) but he was very specfic to the students and the health service, when his party got their arse kicked he made a deal with Lord Cameron (just wait and see) and became deputy prime minister. I suppose some people will do anything for a bit of power (Ken Livinston)) and now Lord Cameron carries him around like Paris Hilton carries her little dog. Another survey (Daily Mail) wants to know if we wanted Osama Bin shit captured alive (I dont really care either way) but seeing as how those trigger happy yanks claimed to have killed him anyway the survey will make no sense and serve no purpose. Another survey in the Telegraph wants to know why the Scottish want to be independent well why dont we just get the Royal navy to tow Scotland far away and let them be as independent as they like. Surveys serve no purpose before or after the event. Before the event we all know the problem and the solution but the govt want us to help them decide, when it goes wrong because they dont listen they want a survey on where they went wrong. Surveys cost time and money and all they do is give jobs to bearded, sandal wearing, lentil crunchers. I read that drinking red wine is good for you I also read drinking wine is bad for you, am I confused? Yes I am, there is a survey that will prove or disprove just about everything, it just depends on what you read, I have found a solution that really works for me and since I started doing it I am infinately happier than ever, I stopped reading surveys, I drink red wine it makes me happy if I drink too much red wine it makes me sick, mmmm what shall I do? Watching too much tv makes you fat, no it doesn't watching too much tv without doing any excercise make you fat and so on and so on. What we need is less surveys and a good leader, Lord Cameron (wait and see) looks the part but is too out of touch, Miliband is a spoilt little brother who is just trying to annoy his brothers friends and Nick Clegg ha ha ha ha ha ha Nick Clegg. People of this fine nation need some one who isn't afraid to call an overweight person with spectacles and attitude a fat four eyed git, vote me as London Mayor and I will do my damnedest to put things right. Who? Me me me .