moments I waste

I woke up early this morning, dontknow why buy I did. I made some coffee and and turned on the news. That woman who is well known for something or other but is now famous for shagging Ryan giggs was on the tv crying that she feels sad and embarrassed that her sex life is all over the papers and that this famous footballer she slept with is the love of her life. Really?? why then was her first phone call to a publicist and the second to a seedy newspaper? I knew watching the bimbo on the telly that I had just wasted moments of my life watching someone I have no interest in so I turned to another news channel and saw some silly jelly head in Ireland crying because the American president visited his village. This man was actually crying, fark me he needs to get a life. I switched back and that volcano is apparently making life difficult for thousands of people. Sorry folks but it aint bothering me, im playing golf later, i then out the sports news on and was gobsmacked to hear that the Barcelona football teams plans are in the bin because they to come a day early, well boo hoo im sure that sucks, I have been to Barcelona and I didnt like it there either. Simon Cowell was in the papers again. Who?? yeah thats what I thought, he does not interest me at all, not one bit. Saw a picture of Dannii wotsername, she was cying, saw a picture of skinny Beckham, she was pouting, saw a picture of that gay fella Biggins, he still grins like a mental patient and lastly I saw "highlights " of Gary Nevilles testimonial, there were two number sevens on his team, is that how they win so many games? So to sum up, in the short time I have been awake I have wasted my time not finding anything of note happening in the world that deems to be newsworthy. How very dull and a waste of my tissue time. La la la .