REAL MEN DO

In todays paper there is an item about what women want and making women happy. The article says the ideal man doesn't drink, doesn't smoke, doesn't snore, doesn't burp, doesn't fart, doesn't watch football and doesn't argue with his partner. There is something else he doesn't do, he doesn't exist. Lets be honest people, a man who fits that description sounds like a totally boring person. It funny how papers keep telling us males how to keep women happy. Well its about time they started telling women how to keep us happy. Women have expensive hair cuts, men pay about a tenner, women take half a day to get dressed men do it in minutes, women take ages to order in a restaurant, men want meat and lots of it, women want men to hold doors open yet the moment you do they call you sexist. I'm not saying we should all act like that tosser Jeremy Clarkson but then again we don't all want to be David Niven. Women want hugging and pampering and wooing and fine dining and they want flowers and chocolates and compliments they dont deserve, they want men to cry at the same films and men who can decorate, they want men to be effeminate and yet look great with two day stubble, they want all this and much more. All men want is a blow job. Nothing more nothing less. It takes just this one thing to make us happy but do we ever get it? No, well maybe on birthdays and at christmas and only if we have bought them a small forest of flowers over the year and a ton of chocolate too. Ladies if you want a perfect man then you know what to. If you don't want to do that one thing for your man then please buy extra soft tissue for him and knock loudly before entering. When men try to be perfect we get accused of wanting something, when women act perfect it means they have crashed the car.