AUSTRALIA ? NO THANKS

I just saw an advert on telly for holiday in Australia from £749. I rang the number on the screen and quoted the reference number and this chinlees idiot asked me how he could help me. I told him I was interested in buying a holiday that is being offered and without even checking he said they were all gone. I told him the advert is still on the telly so how can they be all gone if they are still being advertised. He replied that he didnt know but he can offer me a holiday for £1260. I told him for that price, instead of one week in Australia I could have 3 weeks in Egypt. He said if I went to Australia I could mingle with lots of Ex Pats. I told him if I wanted to talk to English people I would stay at home. I then said "Listen mate, I have my credit card in my hand and right now I want to buy two holidays for £749 so I can bring a lady with me, and have an week of amazing sex and great company" he asked "cant you afford £1260? So I said yes I can but it would mean going on my own and I dont want to go all the way to Australia just for a wank" he told me it was lovely "down under" so I asked him where he liked best. The silly sod said he had never been but the brochure.....I stopped him mid speech and said, "fuck the brochure, brochures say Skodas are nice cars but I dont want one of those either" he asked me what car I drive and told him it was a Saab, I asked him what car he drove and his reply was "I dont want to say" so I said "it must be a shit one then" he was quiet so I asked if there was someone who he could put me through to so I could ask about these £749 holidays and he blurted out that they never existed, the price advertised was just to get people to ring in. I demanded he put me through to a supervisor and when I got through I told him I had just been told of their blatant scam. He offered me a holiday for £1130 so like the dope before him at £749 I was getting laid, over a grand was an expensive box of tissues. Upshot of the story, this year I'm getting laid in Morrocco.