THE LABEL IS WRONG

This morning I went to one of the more well known coffee stalls on the concourse and asked for a coffee. The person behind the counter, obviously not a local lad huffed at me and raised his eyebrows and asked me what sort of coffee I wanted, somewhat perplexed I said I wanted a coffee what type of coffee? the type that is brown and hot with no sugar. He looked at me as though I had asked him for oral sex, he said "we have latte, skinny latte, mocha, cappachino, frappachino, espresso and Brazillian decaf". I was getting a bit miffed cos I had a train to take out and I just wanted a coffee to keep me awake, so I again said "I just want a regular cooffe please, one without all the fuss" he gasped and almost threw up, he asked me "do you mean 'instant?', I said "yes, is that a problem?" he replied with some disdain, "almost no one in their right mind just has an 'instant' these days ". I said "well I must be mad then" . Anyway he asked me what size so I said "just a small please " he said "we have medium or large only " I looked at him and said "to have a medium, you also need a small and a large" he immediately got his gay hump on and said "look, its medium or large, which do you want?" so again I said "small" he looked at me and said "are you going to be difficult?" I said "not if you give me a small coffee" he then said "we have two sizes, does that make it easier for you to order?" so I said "not really, cos I know what I want, why dont you mince around the back and get one of your colleagues who knows the difference between two sizes and get them to serve me the smaller one" he looked like his mascara was gonna run and said "A coffee in the size you want is £2.65". I said "you must be out of your mind too" he asked why so I said "if you think im paying £2.65 for a coffee you must be fucking mad" and I walked away. I went to McDonalds and bought what they call a coffee. It was brown and hot and I managed to get the little sticker off the cup and filled in the collectors card I have, so the next time I go to McDonalds, my next cup of hot brown goo is free. Can I just say to those who regularly buy a fancy named coffee and pay silly money for it, I think you are daft. Coffee is coffee, it doesn't need a flash whooshing creaming machine and it doesn't need chocolate on it and it doesn't need to be served by a foreign student with studs in their eyebrows with names I can't pronounce, it needs to be hot and brown, sugar and milk optional. I will make my own in the crew room from now on.