BLACK AND WHITE TRAINS

I'm coastal today. Even though the sun is finally shining its not as nice here as you think. I am trying to have my break. I bought a lovely breakfast bap but this arsehole next to me is being a pain in the neck. He is watching old route learning films on his laptop and they are dated from the thirties. I aint interested in todays trains let alone relics from the thirties. The thing is he keeps shouting out 'here come and look at this, its an old signal box' or  he shouts 'oooh you don't see those anymore' of course you don't see those any more cos its fecking two thousand and twelve you prick. The thing is, I have no interest in what he is watching so he gets his fat hairy arse off the chair and plonks his laptop under my nose and expects me to feign interest. I have told him to fack off twice and I have pretended to be on the phone for an hour and this knobhead still tries to get my attention. Several other people have stood around him ooohing and arghing and I must confess that for just a nano second I nearly had a look but once this rednecks get a grip on you, you're stuck in their twilight zone and every time you have a coastal break, they think you are part of the family and want to high six you when they see you. Who in their right mind watches these very old route learning films? Where do you buy them and why oh why would you even want to? I'm happy being an ignorant git from London and you coastal types can can keep your gas lamps and real ales and home made pies made from real meat still with animal hair and the teeth in. We in London have something called electrity (when its working) and colour telly, yes you heard, colour telly. So forgive me for not being nostalgic but in all honesty, you bore me. La la la