JOBSWORTHS

I needed a new fridge. I went Comets to have a look around but as sonn as I stepped through the door a spotty faced guy in a shirt that was way to big asked me if I needed help. I thanked him and said no. I wlaked towards the fridge section and he followed me. I have been told that I have a cute bum but this guy followed me all the way around the shop. I deliberately went past the fridges twice trying to lose him but he stayed right behind me. Eventually I started looking at the fridges and I opened the doors and slid out the trays and I ummed and I ahhed and I looked very interested. I gave particular attention to a nice fridge and then spotty made his move. "Do you like this one?" he asked "Yes " I replied, " Does it come in green?" he looked at me like I had just asked for a blow job and said  "Dont be silly, what fridge comes in green? " I told him I had seen a green one in Currys but it was a lot dearer. he looked me for a while then walked away. Moments later he came back with a woman who was obviously the manager and looked like she put her make up on whilst having a sneezing fit.  She approached me and said "I have checked currys website and they dont do this model in green , sir" I looked at her and then said "What other colours does it come in?" she didnt know and went to check. While she was gone I left the shop. I went to a shop that sells fridges and oicked one I liked and its being delivered today.
So i borrowed my neighbours van and took my old fridge down to the recycling centre. The bloke in charge came over and asked for proof of residency so I showed him and he asked what I was throwing away. I told him it was a fridge and his face turned purple. "You cant bring fridges here" he yelled. I looked over his shoulder and pointed to a stack of fridges in his yard. "Whats that then?" I said. He said "Those are fridges but YOU cant bring them in, they have gasses in them and have to be disposed of properly" I asked  "How do you do that? He gave me a card with a number on and said "Ring that number" I asked "What happens then?" he said "We come and get it" So I rang the number and I shit you not, the phone in his hut rang. He went and answered it, I said "Hello can you come and get my old fridge please?" he said "Certainly sir, where are you?" I said "Im outside in the van" He hung up.
He came back and said it was company policy to collect fridges and he cant accept mine. After a brief few harsh words I gave him a fiver and I drove the van 100 yards back down the road. Several minutes later he turned up in his van and took my fridge. Many years ago I  applied for a council job, but I failed because of my head. Its got a brain in it.