WHERE TO GO

So now that christmas is over and all those momotonous adverts for sales will soon be stopping, we can look forward to loads of monotonous adverts for holidays. I dont know where im gonna go this year, I wont know until I return all the presents I dont want and then I will know how much money I can spend. Where ever I go it wont be anywhere advertised by that smug twat jamie redknapp and it wont be anywhere a pikie like wayne rooney would go to. I need a beach and a decent hotel plus damn good weather, anything else will just be a bonus. I want to spend two weeks in my mankini, sipping pina coladas watching the honeys walk by with their fit bodies wearing almost nothing. I will just be lying there like a beached walrus with my hand down my pants having naughty thoughts. I cant wait