THE POPE

The Pope is to resign. Got to be honest, I really don't care. Whatever the reason, be it his health or his age or maybe he is just bored of wearing a dress and meeting poor people. I was obviously a little surprised because Popes don't usually resign, they are usually pushed around in a trolley being made to do all the stuff that Popes do until the last bit of dribble has left their lips. Do you remember the last Pope? They carted him all over the globe with dribble and snot leaking from his face and probably a full incontinance pad under his skirt until he finally stopped breathing. At least the current Pope has given his notice, now the sensible thing to do would be to appoint a new Pope so that one can leave on friday and the other start on the monday. This current Pope is 85, in any job its a bit much to ask someone to do a full shift. And what with his advanced age it must have been extremely difficult chasing and catching alter boys. Anyway, he has done the right thing in my opinion, let someone younger fly around the world meeting strangers and racking up airmiles. Let this current Pope retire to a nice rest home with a few hand picked choir boys to keep him happy until he pops off to the big church in the sky. I say we should get someone way younger, someone like the Fonz. Can you imagine how cool that would be? And it would certainly boost the church's image. I don't understand why a lot of people were crying at the news, maybe they are just sad people who were crying just to be on telly. Anyway I am available to take up the job if they want me but I still say a Fonz like character is the way forward. Whatever happens, what are the odds of than dim wit Beckham sticking his unwanted opinion in the media. His new advert for his brand of pants was just that, pants. He used a front double, a bum double, someone else dived into the pool and did the swimming he just stood there with his misspelt tattoos looking gormless. please buy my E book, A Clean Week. Here is an interesting fact, the bullfrog is the only animal that never sleeps. La la la.