WORKMEN IN SHORTS

Why are most workmen complete muppets? Why do they feel the need to walk around in shorts with some sort of utility belt slung around their waist and a pencil behind one ear? Scaffolders are the worst. They drive around four to a lorry and whistling at women and laughing at puerile jokes. I never understood the phrase 'show us yer tits' because even if a woman wanted to, by the time she had disrobed, the lorry with its collection of idiots is way down the road so they miss the boob show. And why do scaffold lorries block the road outside the cafe? These inconsiderate morons just do care about any other road user. But its not just scaffolders who live like brain dead zombies. Most tradesmen think that wearing shorts and tan work boots makes them look macho. Its a look that is becoming more and more common on our streets. Window cleaners, delivery men even cab drivers have adopted this pikey redneck look and its not good. Its even worse if the guy is a bit fat and has a stupid tattoo covering most of one leg. I recently had workmen doing some home improvements at my house and I have to say never a motley looking group of silly stupid daft men had got together to attempt a days work. They turned up late after going to the cafe first. They had the regulation newspapers for morons, The Sun and The Daily Sport, each had a tape measure and a chewed pencil, khaki shorts and tan coloured boots. They tried to impress me with their talk about pipes and gauges and how everything was 150ml these days and how cheap imported labour was 'ruining the game'. Personally from the moment they knocked on the door I stopped listening. I said the the pencil in charge 'look mate, I aint interested in any of your sexist or racist or pretend macho crap, You can have a cup of coffee then I want you to crack on. I expect you do what I'm paying you for and I won't be paying if I aint happy. If you need to fuck off to B and Q to pick something up I don't expect all four of you to go and I don't want to hear any excuses' This stunned them but it had the desired effect. They worked fairly hard and did the job. They didn't tidy up too well but I can live with that. As they packed their stuff away I was again drawn to their attire. Bearing in mind we are in the throes of winter I wondered why they chose shorts instead of long trousers. They wear shorts but thick jumpers and hats. It boggles the mind. Anyway, I think workmen rate themselves too highly and I'm not surprised cheap labour is on the rise. Please buy my E book, A Clean Week. Here is an interesting fact , in the 1600s thermometers were filled with brandy instead of mercury. La la la