DRYATHON 2013

Up yours Dryathon, kiss my arse Dryanuary. You gave me a challenge and I took it. I took your challenge and I kicked its arse. I went through the whole month without a single drop of the good stuff. Yes for all you tree hugging sandal wearing lentil eating carrot crunching beardy weirdies I feel better, yes I lost weight, although not as much as I hoped, yes I slept better and apparently I will live a little longer. But fuck you. There were times when I wanted to punch someone and there were times I needed punching. I clucked for a drink on so many occasions I asked myself if the smug superior pious feeling I had mid morning was worth the grumpy snappy angry dry throaty wish I was dead feeling that watching a football match sober cos I'm trying to be good was worth the hassle. I like drinking. I really like drinking. I like being sober and smug and seeing my mates being pissed and having fun and laughing their heads off at mundane shit made me question my goal and to be honest I'm still none the wiser. Some silly prick said I should treat it like a time machine to good health. Well what a shitty time machine that was. I got in on Jan one and didn't drink at all and it took thirty one days to take a thirty one day journey to sobriety. Well I have news for you, I had two wonderful cans of my favourite lady (Stella) and it felt good, oh so good. Yes like I said I lost weight and yes I trained a bit harder and longer than I did in December. However, I look better feel better and my sex life is better (I wank more) but what a bastard long month January 2013 was. The end result physically and mentally was worth it it but the stress and pressure physically and mentally was equally strenuous. I watched football matches sober and I watched movies sober and they were hard work. Alcohol is like a lover. When you're getting it, its lovely and wrong and oh so delicious. But when you aint its a dirty bitch and you hope it falls over and hurts itself. Anyway, I took the challenge and I won. I won, I didn't drink for the whole of the month and I even had beer and wine in the fridge. They are probably being drunk as you read this but I kicked Dryathlons arse. Yes I did and I have witnesses. Please by my E book, A Clean Week. Here is an interesting fact, Peru has more pyramids than Egypt. La la la . Dryathlon/Dryanuary, I took the challenge and I won.