EGG SANDWICHES

Today im coastal. It was cold and frosty last night and this morning I had to demist my car windows, ( its a posh car and didnt take long but thats not the point ). There seems to be an awful lot of coastal munters wearing flip flops and long cut down shorts. Im very well wrapped up and im still cold and yet these dillybuds are swanning around like its positively mild. Anyway , I was standing the sandwich kiosk waiting for some toast and a cup of tea, ( they use cheap tea bags here but its the only place open ) and some bloke just walked to me and asked me what I like to have with my egg sandwiches. I lloked at him a bit bemused and he said that he is trying to get fit and wants to eat healthy food. I told him bacon with eggs are quite nice and he called me a liar. I replied by telling him to go away ( not that nicely) and he said that I looked like someone who went to the gym so probably didnt eat bacon because it was fried. I told him you can grill bacon and have scrambled eggs but he said he didnt believe me when I said I ate bacon. I asked him if I looked like a muslim or something like that and he said ' whats a muslim supposed to look like? ' which is a fair question so again I said' look mate I aint from around here so eat what you like but leave me alone you nutjob' he replied ' I suppose you want the gym to yourself you selfish bastard' I looked at him and said ' go away you mental retard you need to find a rubber room and lock yourself in ' just then my toast and tea arrived and I showed it to him and said ' look, no eggs or bacon' he gasped and said 'are eggs and bacon bad to eat should I just have toast? I laughed and said ' Yes you dingus, buy lots of bread and eat lots of toast, nothing but toast, just be be sure dont even have butter, just dry toast, all day every day' . He ordered some toast and I walked away laughing. I hate being coastal. Please buy my E book, A Clean Week. Here is an interesting fact, Armadilloes can walk under water. La la la.