REST DAY WORKING

Today was supposed to be my day off. the thing about days off is that one day is never enough and the one you have isn't long enough. I have so much to do that I was behind before I woke up. I forgot I had arranged to play squash, I had booked my car in for a service, I needed to get a part replaced on my motorbike, I have two loads of washing to do, I want to go to the market and do some shopping, I need to have a good tidy up around the house, I want to flip my mattress and amongst all that I was hoping for a gym session and to meet a mate for some beer. I put a load in the washing machine and took my car to the garage, I noticed it only has a quarter of a tank so I decided to fill up first. As I queued up to pay for the fuel I'm standing behind a young lad, the cashier looked at the kid and then looked at a wanted poster with several faces on it, he decides that this kid is on there and chases him out the shop and down the road. So that was ten minutes wasted. I drive to the garage and thanks to that fat blubbery bastard Boris Johnson, my area is plagued with roadworks so the journey took three times as long. When I got there the mechanic was out on a call out so I had to wait another twenty minutes. being a clever bastard I didn't have a coat and it was a long two mile freezing walk home. When I got home I had forgotten to switch the washing machine on so that was more time wasted. My mate Richard Bailey who I was going to meet for a drink later rang me and said he couldn't make it because he needed to go and buy new slippers. At last that gave me some time back, he can't hold his drink anyway and it gets embarrassing when he gets tipsy and starts singing Barry Manilow songs. I started dusting and very soon got bored with that so I started hovering instead and got bored with that even sooner. I rang the bike shop and they can't do my bike until the weekend which is a bummer. I emptied the washing machine and hung it out, I put a load of my sons washing in which confusingly has a pair of his girlfriends knickers in (no I didn't have a sniff)' I put the second load in and decided I had done enough so I took some steak out of the freezer for later and went to the gym. I had a massive workout and felt awesome, but my euphoria was short lived because their showers were cold. I went home via the off licence and got home smelly with 8 cans of deliciousness. I had a shower and cracked open a beer. I dumped myself on the sofa and put on a box set of The Shield. By the time I opened my fourth can I knew the rest of my day was not going to be very productive. I wasted some tissue (no not watching the shield) and sent out for a takeaway, the steak will keep until tomorrow. So that's more or less a waste of a day off. Here is an interesting fact, women on the pill blink thirty percent more than women who are not. Please buy my E.book. A clean Week. la la la