2012

2012 is nearly over, and can I just say good riddance. What year it has been. We lost a good man at our depot, don't get me wrong, he ain't dead, Richard just left for another job. In 2012 it rained, it rained a lot, and then it rained some more. Like everyone else I started the year with good intentions and full of hope. During the year I went to the gym 107 times, I attended 39 spin classes, I ran over 200 miles around the parks and the Marina, and that was without the treadmill miles and I played squash 14 times. But to balance things out I had more than my fair share of take away meals and delicious feats and I afraid I went over and way way beyond the permitted allowance of alcohol, my doctor would not approve (no doctor would)however I still weigh 2lbs less then I was this time last year. I was a bit disappointed with the 2012 Death List, there is over forty names on the list but so far only eleven people have bothered to die. Recently whilst driving through Mitcham I was accosted by a street urchin. He approached my cab and engaged me in conversation, he seemed to be under the impression he knew me, I tried to recall how I knew him but as I looked at his Man Utd track suit top and his West Ham track suit bottoms I just couldn't figure out which council estate he came from. He looked a bit hungry so I gave him the rest of the apple I was eating which brought a huge smile to his face so I also gave him a pound coin and I said don't spend it on drugs and he told me he was going to give it his mum to put on the electric key which I thought was nice. As you know I spent a lot of time coastal which isn't my favourite place, its like being on the set of a weird movie. Michael Caine said appearing in the Muppet movie was weird because you have to pretend these creatures are real but you just have trouble interacting with them. Several things tested my patience, Jaywalkers, they should be dressed in a tall hat so that you can run them over with impunity, Tom Cruise who I quite like has trouble getting on some of the rides at Disney Land some how got the part of Reacher, six foot six, chiselled, good looking and tough (yeah I don't get it either), bastard cyclists with no lights on, car drivers with their fog lights on, Posh and Becks, or as I like to call them Thick and Thin are still the nations most irritating couple and Alex Ferguson is still berating officials when they don't give the decision he wants and Ed Miliband who only took the job so his mum would notice him still looks like a security guard who has heard a noise in an empty warehouse. As the year draws to a close, I still despise Boris and Ken. I would like to wish most of you a happy new year and to those I don't like can sod off. To all my fans at home abroad (OLA WEST INTERNATIONAL)hope you all have a fantastic 2013, there will be a new Death List so suggestions are welcome, I'm off to the moon, la la la diddley dee. Please buy my E book A Clean Week. Here is an interesting fact, it only takes seven pounds of pressure to rip off a human ear.