GYM KNOBS

I had to work today. Admittedly the first time for a while but I still wasn't looking forward to it. I must have stopped at every station in and around London. Anyway as I was having my coffee before my first trip there was two knob heads in the crew room. One show me yours and I will show you mine. They were discussing their muscles or in my opinion, a lack of. They are a bit scrawny but seem to think they have good bodies. Their conversation flitted around training methods but the gist seemed to be that they joined a gym to letch at gorgeous fit women, apparently both their wives are mingers, unlike me who has a wonderful woman. Anyway I finished my coffee and like I said I must have stopped everywhere. As I tootled around I thought about the two jelly heads and decided to go to the gym later, I normally do a circuit class on a monday but today I felt the need to lift heavy weights. So that was my plan. My day wasn't entirely a blow out cos I bumped into the delightful Chrissy, who looked lovely as always (she is far to good for wotisname). Anyway we had a chat and she sauntered on her way. After giving my pound of flesh to the company I made it to the gym.. There were two guys preening themselves in the mirror before even working out, I left them to it and went off to do a tremendous workout (yes it was so shut up). About ten minutes later these two chaps came in and just started lifting anything and grunting like pigs trying to look macho, they always seemed to be in the way of a female making her change what she was using. Eventually these two dopes ended up on the Smith machine, a good bit of kit if you are weak and useless, but if you are just the nuts like I am you don't need to use it. Anyway one of these guys looks the hippy from Scooby Doo, it takes a real talent to be a white guy with dreadlocks, if you can't you just look trampish and this guy needs to smarten up if he wants to be a tramp. He lay on the bench with his mate as a spotter and started lifting, almost immediately he started screaming, his hair was caught in the machinery. His mate panicked and started yelping. I laughed so hard a bit of pee came out. His mate yelled at me 'stop laughing come and help' my reply was 'bollox, he is your boyfriend, you get him out' he screamed at me 'we aint gay' which made me and the now room full of onlookers laugh harder. Eventually the gym staff got Mr Dreadlocks free and his mate held him like a wounded soldier and took him to the changing rooms, as they left one of the women said 'you hold him like you are gay' and we laughed some more. I finished my workout which would ruin some men half my age and went for a shower, well fuck me these two men were still preening in the mirror, the looked at me and were about to say something but they thought better of it. I decided to shower at home, my shower is better anyway and I left. I have been using gyms for years and I hate to see people not taking it seriously, its no place for mobile phones and you shouldn't work out in jeans and street clothes. I train properly which is why I'm so healthy. If you want to muck about at getting fit use one of the free gyms the councils are putting up in parks, I know too many people who have gym memberships who don't go, its a waste of money. Here is an interesting fact, the average robin lives to be twelve years old. Please buy my E book, A Clean Week, by Ola West. La la la