DONT BE SAUCY

Today I was coastal. As most of you know its not my favourite place, the weather was miserable the station was miserable the people are miserable, even the ones that act normal looked miserable. I was peckish , outside the station is a sandwich bar and I went in. The guy behind the counter looked like a Welsh Benny Hill ( he reminded me of Benny Hill and sounded Welsh ). He said good morning and told me everything on the menu was two pence off until twelve o clock. Unless he was a really slow cook I was about to save two pence. I ordered a breakfast bap he said to me ' breakfast bap, sausage bacon and egg £ 3.35 but until twelve its £3.33 to you' I said thank you and off he waddled.  A few minutes later he came back with my bap and asked ' do you want some salt and pepper on this?  I said no. He asked if I wanted brown sauce and I said ' no thanks I like it plain' he said ' oh go on, plain is boring, have some mayonnaise' I said no, he said ' how about some french dressing? I said no. He said ' what about some nice salad cream to zap your taste buds' again I said no. He said ' go on be adventurous' so I said ' ok I will have a dollop of tomato sauce ' He said ' oh im sorry im all out, try something else' I said ' ok I will have some ketchup' he looked at me and said quite sternly ' I TOLD  YOU IM ALL OUT' so I replied ' AND I bLOODY TOLD YOU I wANTED IT PLAIN ' He wrapped the bap and shoved it across the counter, I handed him £3.35. He tried to give me two pence change but I said ' keep it and put it towards a bottle f sauce' and I left. In the crew room I made a cup of coffee and took a bite of the bap, it lacked a certain something so in the kitchen I put some salt and pepper on it. It tasted better. Not great, better. When he was alive I never ever found Benny Hill funny. Here is an interesting fact, to keep cool flamingos urinate on their legs. Uurgh. La la la diddly dee, everyones gone to the moon