FIRST WEEK AFTER HOLIDAY

Today is friday and it is the end of the first week back from my trip abroad. What a crappy week it has been. Not crappy in that have had a bad one, but crappy in the fact that nothing of real interest has happened. the weather anywhere else is lovely hot sunny and superb. The weather here is has been its usual wet and windy summer. Yesterday was unseasonally warm but even the weather guy on Sky News was surprised at how warm it was. Let me say that again, the weather guy on Sky News was surprised at the weather. Here in our fine capital, the sun shone for hours, but up north where all the council pikeys live it was torrential rain. It never ceases to amaze me that people still try to drive or ride push bikes when the roads are under five feet of water. I felt sorry for her maj The Queen for having to shake the hand of a senior terrorist. Not only was this guy part of the mob that killed her cousin, but she had to go to him instead of him coming here, good job she wore gloves. I took the train to work the other day. What a shower of shitty people travel by train. What is it with women putting on their make up on a train full of other people. Why do you always apply it with your mouth open making you look like a goldfish? I saw one man cough into a tissue and put it in his shirt pocket then two minutes later take it out and blow his nose. I saw one man take his trainers off and massage his feet for about ten minutes and believe me his toes were very gnarled indeed. The Germs are out of Euro 2012. Don't really care. Im not blaming Desperate Dan for our exit although Rooney should not have been the player we based the team around. I'm sick of hearing Woy Hodgeson saying they did us proud. If the did us proud they would still be in it. They got as far as anyone thought they would. And bloody good grief its fecking Wimbledon. I hate tennis, I really do. Its a dull middle class game played by chinless wonders. We ain't no good and we never will. I cant tell whinging Andy apart from his lookalike mother, why does a grown nan take his mum everywhere, is she the Scottish equivalent of a favourite sheep? As you know, I do like a good movie. Last night I watched Jason Stathams latest offer. I don't know why I suffer such drivel. It was so very crap, the best bits were in subtitles when he wasn't on screen. I keep telling myself Jason Statham, Dolph Lundgren, Jean Claude Damn Vain, Chris Tucker and Martin Lawrence films are to be avoided at all times, but like a wally, I get a beer or two inside me and like the weather reports I watch in hope of seeing something good. Driving home today the DJ kept saying "yippeee its the weekend", well I have news for you, you very irritating prick some of us have to go to work. Still, look on the bright side, I can stay up past nine on saturday and have a lie in on sunday.....la la la