COASTAL WEIRDOS

I am having my break in a coastal crew room. I really dont like having my breaks in coastal crew rooms cos I find these people to be a bit mental. I am listening to one wally telling people he is using paper plates at home to help with water shortage. There are two conductors who have just swapped nasal rings. Yes you heard me, two conductors have just swapped nasal rings. How disgusting is that? The snack machine is full but most of the crisps are out of date because the jellyhead who fills the machine went sick some time ago and didnt hand the key over to someone else and consequently the crisps are stale. The spare driver has dyed his hair black and stripes because he is a Newcastle fan, he looks fucking stupid. There is a smell coming from the kitchen sink because some threw onion soup down there and its now blocked. I have to sit here for 90 minutes. I want to use the loo but because its a bank holiday the cleaner is not in and the toilet looks like the cess pit in a zoo. I really want to be positive and say something nice but the sun is shining and its still cold. Everyone is dressed in unironed uniforms and they are moping about and whinging because they are at work. Hang on , I have found something to be positive about....I have beer in my fridge at home As soon as I say something positive I remember that I am working on bank holiday monday as well. One guy has just walked in and is wearing a Superman jumper, he looks ridiculous. I cant wait to get back to civilisation. We may be a miserable bunch in London but at least we aint weird. La la la