MOVIES CRISPS AND TUNA

I'm in a crew room, not a coastal one and the conversations being held are not inspiring. Firstly, I'm sitting next to one overweight mong who is eating a family size bag of salt and vinegar crisps. He has just told everyone in the room that an article in todays Metro has stated it healthy to eat a Mars bar once a week. This cretin, on top of his ginormous bag of crisps has three mars bars and is washing them down with Irn Bru. Across the room is a complete spazoid who is tucking into two tins of Tuna that he bought last week and forgot they were in his bag, he is washing this down with tomato soup from the vending machine. They are talking across the room about the new Batman movie. They both thought it was a fantastic movie. They are both looking forward to the film Expendables 2. I have seen the Batman movie and I thought it was too long and didn't have enough Batman in it. I don't intend to watch Expendables 2. I have seen the movie Ted and although I chuckled a little bit  it was not the laugh out loud film they said it would be. So my break is not turning out to be a good one. The fact that I disagree with them about good and bad films is one thing but the room smells like a cross between a fish market and a toilet in an old folks home. The fact that these two jellyheads are talking with their mouths open is visually disgusting and the fatter of the two is getting most of it down the front of his shirt. I might not be coastal but it sure feels like it. Here is an interesting fact, you can lead a cow up some stairs but you can't lead it down. La la la