NOT MY DAY

I had to work today. I didn't mind as it was a bit of a short duty. But as soon as I got there I knew it was going to turn to crap. There were engineering works on nearly all the coastal routes except the on I was working. I had decided not to take sandwiches because there is a nice cafe I was going to visit. when I got there the bloody place was closed for staff training. I have been hungry all day. Its my sons 23rd birthday and it has cost me a small fortune, but hey, hopefully in a few years time I might need a kidney. It has taken me nearly an hour to get home because some dirty unwashed scruffy bastard students are holding demonstrations causing mayhem and chaos which my tax dollars are going to pay for. Anyway, when I arrived home the drive had two strange cars on it so I couldn't put my lovely motorbike to bed. I opened the front door and was assaulted by loud music and loads people I either don't know or don't like. I don't mind sharing with the great unwashed, but my sons mates all need a trip to the soap factory. I am trying to keep calm but my large supply of medicinal stella is rapidly dwindling. The fridge door has not been shut for more than a few seconds and my top of the range BBQ equipment is being abused by stoned gangsta rappers. Just for today I hope it rains so all these freeloaders will fuck off sorry I mean go away. Arse on the telly later, I hope I will have enough beer to help me through the afternoon. I am definately having no more children, I have two a boy and a girl, the boy for a kidney and the girl to pick a home to put me in when I'm old and senile. Watch this space.