TRAINS AND CABBAGES

No, the title is not about what you think it is. It has nothing to do with the Cripolymps. I am having my break coastal and as you all know its not my favourite place to be. Regardless of all the six fingered ginger haired people high sixing each other, I find it a bit banal and tedious down here. I'm sitting in the crew room trying to enjoy a decent cup of coffee and some chocolate Hob nobs and there various conversations are making it hard for me to relax and enjoy. One spanner has just said that the cabbages he planted several months ago (albeit they are a bit on the small size) are the tastiest he has grown in two years. The jellyhead he is talking to answered that with 'I found a cabbage on a train once, it was in a Tesco bag, so I took it home and gave it to the wife'. I mean come on, how riveting is that conversation. Across the room one old timer is moaning that the no smoking ban is ruining his health. The fact that he can't smoke in a cab is causing him to be stressed and that it is causing him to be negligent in looking after his Koi carp in his garden. The cleaner came in and demanded to know who had used his mop and bucket because it wasn't where he left it yesterday and another person is moaning that the trains appear dirtier than usual. I went into the tv room but I just don't want to watch a show about cemetaries, and yet there are seven people, male and female transfixed by the show and its descriptions of grave stones and how to look after grave stones and how to ensure that your grave stone says the right thing about you in thee afterlife. I don't care what mine will say, probably, some smart arse will put 'here lies fat dead bloke' I really don't care as long  as I am dead and not buried alive. I don't know if I believe in the afterlife but If there is one I hope there are no spiders there cos I hate spiders and  Heaven is supposed to be your own private Utopia. Back in the other room the cabbage man is trying to sell his small but tasty cabbages but no one wants any. This is because in the Co.op along the road from here you can get larger ones cheaper. Its not nice being coastal, even those who live coastal don't like it here. The guy who claims to have found a cabbage once has asked for a free cabbage and if his wife decides that it is really tasty he will consider buying one a month. Good grief my sanity is being tested today. Still never mind, only ten more years to go. Here is an interesting fact, the enamel on your teeth is the strongest substance in a human body. La la la