ROYAL GINGER

Sorry I have been a bit quiet these last two days but I have been busy laughing my head off. Front page news in the Daily Mirror was Prince Harry whinging that being a Royal prince is stopping him from finding love. I'm sorry Harry, its not because you are a prince that puts women off, its because you're ginger. Having ginger hair is the modern day equivalent of leprosy. Your mum did you no favours when she shagged that soldier. Don't blame not having a girlfriend on being a prince. Your (half) brother is bald and big nosed but he managed to find a nice piece of totty. Its a terrible affliction being ginger and there is no cure. There are two gingernuts where I work and they too suffer from being womanless. One of them is in his forties and collects model trains and still lives with his parents, he thinks that is why people take the piss out of him. I keep telling him people think he is a loser because he has ginger hair, and obviously also because he collects model trains and lives with parents. The other one, I won't mention his real name so lets call him Malcolm, is a scruffy boring git with a mad dollop of ginger hair. He tries all sorts of web sites to meet women and tells all the usual lies, "my name is Malcolm, I'm tall good looking, I have a nice job, a nice car I speak several languages and have a big willy" but as soon as they see his mop of hair they disappear faster than a refugee with a lumcheon voucher. So Harry old pal I think your bet is to jump in your helicopter, nip up to Scotland where there are quite a few redheads, kidnap one bring her back to London, teach it to speak English and hope it falls in love with your money and palace. If you find a Scottish woman who fits the bill don't forget to tell her you are very rich and she won't have to work because as you know the Scots are a work shy bunch. Every holiday I have ever been on I bump into a kock on social security saying how great Scotland is. If its that good why are they thousands of miles away from it? The only reason the Scottish buy televisions is to look at better places to live. So Harry please don't blame being royal on you not having a girlfriend. Your dad, no not him I mean Charles pulled your mum, your uncle Andy does alright when it comes to shagging so just face the fact, you are ginger, its a disease. Actually why not ring work and go sick with gingervitus. Malcolm said to me once "you are bald" I replied " yeah but I get laid way more than you do" I heard that the blow up doll committed suicide rather than be with him. Don't give up Harry, buy a big hat and don't take it off. La la la